Not the best party I've been to.

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Sunday Scribblings wants us to Celebrate this week.

I love to celebrate. I don’t need much of an excuse! A sniff of a bottle of chardonnay and a bowl of nuts and I’m there!

I have had the odd embarrassing situation. It’s usually when I’ve misunderstood the wording on the invitation. A couple of years back I was asked to attend a farewell get-together. It was from an aged aunt whom I was very fond of as a child, but had not seen much of in recent years. The invite said something about their son, my second cousin going on a journey.

Well, Cousin Jonathon was always something of an adventurer. He was constantly trekking across continents, climbing mountains and plodding across deserts on the back of a camel. There was even a film about him on some obscure TV channel which people only watch by accident!

That reminds me, I was channel hopping ‘tother day and I found this odd programme called Insatiable Sister Ignatius. Well, I had a nun-type teacher at my boarding school called Sister Ignatius who was extremely fat and she always said it was because of her insatiable appetite. (She was always spilling food down her front and we always said she taught us dirty habits!) I obviously didn’t think that the film would be about her, she’s probably burst by now, but I was curious. Well, I was horrified at what I saw. Call me old fashioned but I really had no idea what modern nuns get up to!

Where was I? Oh yes, Cousin Jonathon’s farewell bash. I thought it would be a good idea to turn up in mild fancy dress – a friend loaned me an explorer’s hat (at least, he said it was, although I’m not entirely sure what explorers where on their sensible heads. It looked a bit like an upturned green canvas shopping bag to me!) I hung a pair of binoculars around my neck (actually they were opera glasses but they are the same thing) and an Ordnance Survey map in one of those see through covers. I found a great farewell card in Hallmark which played So Long Farewell from the Sound of Music.

When I arrived the front door was open. It seemed a bit quiet but I thought ‘I’ll soon liven this party up’! So in I went.

Oh dear. How embarrassing. There I was, huge grin on my face and Julie Andrews singing at the top of her voice from a greetings card. I think the invite should have been clearer. If I had known that Cousin Jonathon had met an untimely end in the jaws of an alligator in an Amazonian swamp ,I’d have dressed in black. I certainly wouldn’t have taken my crocodile skin handbag.

Seemed there had been a private memorial service earlier in the day for the immediate family and I was a guest at a celebration of his life with wine and canapés. Fortunately another cousin of mine was there and saw the funny side of it. He said I’d received a wake-up call!
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