Aging - it's just a matter of time

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I so wish this Sunday Scribblings prompt hadn’t come up. After all what do I know about aging?’ I’m still a kitten, a rosebud!

And then it hit me. In 2010 I’ll ............I can’t bring myself to say it..........I’ll hit the big three-oh!

You know what that means. Gravity will begin to take control where taut flesh once ruled. Bits which are now peeping upward will start to head south (do Australian and New Zealand woman’s bits head north? I’ve often wondered)

I’ve just looked in the mirror. What I’ve been calling laughter lines are beginning to look like the start of wrinkles! Help, wrinkles. I need to get some lotions and potions. Baby cream won’t be able to keep up. Wikipikipoo says that I need (listen to this) Alpha Hydroxy Acid which helps to dissolve the intracellular glue that holds the dead cells together on the skin. Eeek!

I’m getting shorter, I know I am. Old people shrink and I’m starting already. And my ears are growing. I look like bloody Dumbo! I’ll be flying soon.

Eyes. My eyes. Can I still read a car registration plate from 25 yards? Err, no. My hair. I spotted a grey one the other day. It’s only a matter of time until it looks like my granny’s. Soon I’ll be off to the pensioner’s hair dresser for a blue rinse and a curly perm over a nice cup of tea and a digestive biscuit.

And I’m shrinking. Oh no, I said that just now. I’m repeating myself!

Did you hear about the old couple on the beach? She said to him ‘what do you think of my flip-flops?’ He said ‘Shut up and put your bikini back on’

This is all too depressing so I’m stopping right now!
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