I have seven things to tell you!

Giggles wants me to list seven things that you don’t know about me. Do you think that’s her real name? Giggles? I’m not so sure myself.

It’s not an easy call as Keith has made it his business to tell you everything he can about me during the last year or so warts and all. So it’s on with the jolly old thinking cap!

I’ve thought of one thing. I used to play the guitar. I was quite good, as long as it was in C. Nothing fancy you understand. I didn’t have to plug it in, and I specialised in chords.

I remember one day thinking the guitar felt funny. I could only feel wood under one of my fingers. I thought maybe one of the strings had jumped ship, so I counted them – I had five. Then I counted the little screw things at the top and I had six! How long I’d played with a missing string I really don’t know! Anyway, it sounded alright so I never bothered to get it replaced.

Talking of missing things, I don’t think you know that when I was a child I had a three legged cat. Really!
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By the way, what do you call a three legged donkey? Give up? Wonkey!

We got the cat from a rescue place I think. Mummy said we should call it Tripod but I said that we shouldn’t make fun of its missing leg. Well, it trotted with the front two, and it had to hop along on its back one. She then suggested we call it Cassidy and I thought that was quite a nice name so Cassidy he was. It was years before I realised that Hopalong Cassidy was a famous cowboy.

That’s two things. Let’s think? Oh yes, number three. I don’t do a lot of fancy cooking but I do have a couple of Specialites de Rosey. One is Vegetarian Lasagne which is double-delish, and the other is a meat dish which I do when meat-eating friends come round – Toad in the Hole. I don’t know if you have it in Canada Giggles, but it’s a delicacy here in England. Actually, that’s probably a bit of an exaggeration, but I give it a bit of delicate touch!

In case you don’t have it I should explain that we don’t actually eat toads. That would be like eating frogs and only the French do that. And even then they only eat their legs. Yuc. They also eat snails! What? I mean who would want to eat snails? That’s not all. They eat horses.

No, Toad in the Hole is a deep batter pudding with sausages poking their heads above the surface. I have to confess I once made it and forgot to put the sausages in! It was like a six inch deep pancake. Spot the sausage!

Now I’m struggling. Oh yes, number four. I have a beautiful gold and porcelain carriage clock which my Granny left me. It works perfectly well but it is missing the hour hand. I always know when it’s half past, but half past what?

Five, I love jigsaw puzzles but all of my favourites ones have pieces missing. I remember once I tried making replacement bits but it’s not as easy as you think.

Six, I love cycling. Actually Keith did tell you about a cycling adventure of mine once, but I don’t expect you read it. Unfortunately my bike’s missing its handle bars right now. I left it outside the corner shop for a couple of minutes and when I came out – gone, bell and all.

I’ve just realised there’s a pattern emerging here.

Now for number seven. Nothing missing here!

Leonardo da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa. Vermeer painted the Girl with a Pearl Earring and a dodgy looking bloke with greasy hair painted a nude picture of the lady at number seventeen.

But Giggles has painted me! Painted a picture of me that is, she hasn’t covered me in emulsion! As you know I don’t like having my photo taken, so I thought a little cartoon would be a nice alternative. I'll be unveiling it at the weekend and you will be the first to see it – or the second or third depending on when you visit me.

Thanks so much Giggles. My next project will be to do a picture of you! I've found my paints but I can't quite lay my hands on my brushes.
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Ps. I'm supposed to list seven people to join me-me in this me-me, but I'm going to ask for volunteers instead. Hope you-you will take up the challenge.
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