28.3.09

Aging - it's just a matter of time

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I so wish this Sunday Scribblings prompt hadn’t come up. After all what do I know about aging?’ I’m still a kitten, a rosebud!

And then it hit me. In 2010 I’ll ............I can’t bring myself to say it..........I’ll hit the big three-oh!

You know what that means. Gravity will begin to take control where taut flesh once ruled. Bits which are now peeping upward will start to head south (do Australian and New Zealand woman’s bits head north? I’ve often wondered)

I’ve just looked in the mirror. What I’ve been calling laughter lines are beginning to look like the start of wrinkles! Help, wrinkles. I need to get some lotions and potions. Baby cream won’t be able to keep up. Wikipikipoo says that I need (listen to this) Alpha Hydroxy Acid which helps to dissolve the intracellular glue that holds the dead cells together on the skin. Eeek!

I’m getting shorter, I know I am. Old people shrink and I’m starting already. And my ears are growing. I look like bloody Dumbo! I’ll be flying soon.

Eyes. My eyes. Can I still read a car registration plate from 25 yards? Err, no. My hair. I spotted a grey one the other day. It’s only a matter of time until it looks like my granny’s. Soon I’ll be off to the pensioner’s hair dresser for a blue rinse and a curly perm over a nice cup of tea and a digestive biscuit.

And I’m shrinking. Oh no, I said that just now. I’m repeating myself!

Did you hear about the old couple on the beach? She said to him ‘what do you think of my flip-flops?’ He said ‘Shut up and put your bikini back on’

This is all too depressing so I’m stopping right now!
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11 comments:

Lluvia said...

Curiously following links, I happened upon your site. All of your current posts interest and entertain me, but this one made me laugh out loud. Being a Southern yankee, I did not understand a couple of the terms from the story about Bill, but I very much enjoyed it, especially the ending. Couldn't believe how quickly I got into wondering what was going to happen to this guy rolling a tea cart!

Tumblewords: said...

Clever post - let me know how the alpha hydroxy stuff works. May take a go at it myownself.

jinksy said...

Just remember, the inside can be a young as you like - and that's all that counts in the long run! x

b said...

Okay Rosey...I think you are responsible for my laugh lines. And trust me alpha hydroxy does not work THAT good...I have tried. When you feel gravity and big ears are getting the best of you just come on over and see me...I will show you what "aging" is really all about.

Thanks for stopping by.

Your shrinking friend,

b

Serious Black said...

I remember some woman explaining to me that her wrinkles were laughlines ........
Well she must have absolutely cacked her self!

Fledgling Poet said...

LOL...this one made me smile. You're still just a wee babe...wait till you're pushing 50! :~)

Tanya Gwen Minnick said...

i liked your post..made me smile and think as I am but a few years behind you...and already have the grey! lol :)
peace

angie said...

You are a riot!
And but a wee babe in the woods...

I am so glad I stopped by!

Lucy said...

haha Rosey!! repeating yourself already?
O NO! your joke was too funny too! i adore u rosey girl!

Jeeves said...

Hahaha, You would be always young at heart. Thats all matters.

jay said...

Hahaha!!

Wrinkles and big ears at thirty! Oh boy, you're in for a rough ride! ROFL!!

Everything is relative, my dear. Just remember that.