If I could change one thing

If my Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and asked me if I would like to change one thing about my life I would say in all honesty, no..

But if she said I could change something in somebody else’s life, then I would grab the chance with both hands.

In my class at school, there is a small child. They are all small of course but this child is smaller than all of the others.

I’ll call him Tommy although that’s not his real name.

He is quiet, and spends most of his time in thought, staring at the ground, in a world of his own.
'
Exactly what goes through Tommy’s mind I don’t know, but I would guess he’s thinking about his Mother.

You see, his Mother is unwell and unable to care for herself. Tommy’s father left long ago, soon after his wife became ill.

While her son is at school, a nurse pops into give her what help she can, but once school is out it’s down to Tommy to tend to her, cook for her and carry out all manner of duties which a child of nine should not even have to think about, let alone do.

From his window Tommy can see his school friends kicking a ball around in the street, or playing tag. But he never complains. He just gets on.

If I could change one thing for him, it wouldn’t be for him to have the advantages I had when I was growing up. It’s not money he needs. He doesn’t need any more love than he gets now from his mother, she couldn’t love him any more than she does.
.

No, I wish he could have a normal childhood just like his friends. A childhood where nothing really matters except scoring the winning goal.

But I guess that’s all a dream.
.
Based on a true story
..

My pilgrimage

'
As soon as I saw the prompt ‘Pilgrimage’ on Sunday Scribblings my mind went back to my schooldays. I remembered the hymn that was our school song, To Be a Pilgrim.

I just looked up the words because it occurred to me that when I was a kid I had no idea what the song was about. It was all written in Olde English with heaps of words that meant nothing to me. Even now I’m struggling a bit!

I can remember that we all found the name of the writer a bit funny. Well, when you are ten you are bound to find someone named after a swollen toe somewhat amusing. Who on earth could be called John Bunion even if it is spelt Bunyon!!

Actually I’ve quite surprised myself. I remember that it was written in sixteen forty-something, about the same time as Keith’s fave pub The Five Ashes Inn was built.

I also recall that 'Billy' Bunion wrote it in prison as part of his book Pilgrims Progress though I can’t remember why he was there.

I also know that someone altered the words, and someone else, Vaughn Williams I think it was, changed the tune!

That reminds me of the character Trig in that TV sit-com who was a road sweeper and said that he’d had the same broom for twenty years and it had only needed six new heads and four new handles!

Looking at the words again I realise that the second line says Let him in constancy, not Let him incontinently! I also thought there was something about fancy flees in the last verse, but now I see it’s when fancies flee away.

I also thought that the third line of the second verse was about no foes staying the night. Wrong!

My journey through school was a pilgrimage. It was a journey beset (I like that word) with angst and acne. They say that the journey is more important than reaching your destination, but in my case the getting to my destination was one of my life’s greatest moments. I made it – I left school!
.

He who would valiant be ’gainst all disaster,

Let him in constancy follow the Master.

There’s no discouragement shall make him once relent
His first avowed intent to be a pilgrim.

.

Who so beset him round with dismal stories

Do but themselves confound - his strength the more is.
No foes shall stay his might; though he with giants fight,
He will make good his right to be a pilgrim.

.

Since, Lord, Thou dost defend us with Thy Spirit,

We know we at the end, shall life inherit.

Then fancies flee away! I’ll fear not what men say,

I’ll labour night and day to be a pilgrim.

.

.

Just around the corner

.
I've written this for Writers Island.
.
Just around the corner from my flat is the shop where I buy my newspapers, sweeties and milk when I run out.

Just around the corner from the shop is the pub where I meet my friends for a drink or two.

Just around the corner from the pub is the cop-shop where I had to take my driver’s license last week because I got stopped for speeding and I didn’t have it with me.

Just around the corner from the cop-shop, sorry, Police Station is the park where I play on the swings when no-one is watching.

Just around the corner from the park is the school where I work.

Just around the corner from my school are the allotments where I will soon be growing things.

Just around the corner from the allotments are the public loos (hang on, I’m just nipping in!)

Just around the corner from the Public Conveniences (I love that old fashioned name!) is the church with the noisy bells that wake me up on Sunday mornings.

Just around the corner from the church is the sea front.

and just before the next corner is my flat!.

'

.'

Memorable mnemonics

.
.
I was doing some laundry the other day and I noticed water all over the floor It seemed to be coming from the cupboard next to the washing machine. Strange I thought. I looked in the cupboard and I saw it was squirting from the pipe which sends water to the machine.

Now I’m a pretty practical person. Usually I carry out minor DIY things around the flat without too much trouble. Ok, I did have a problem when I smelt gas. It was dark so I looked for the leak with a cigarette lighter. I needed to re-grow my eyebrows anyway so it wasn’t a problem.

And I once I drilled a hole in the wall to put up a shelf and I hit an electric cable. My friends said that frizzy stand-up hair suited me.

I was pretty confident with the leaking pipe because I remembered a mnemonic. Mnemonics are sentences that help you to remember spellings, useful bits of info and things.

And I remembered how to spell mnemonic because of a mnemonic - Macabre Neanderthals Eviscerate Mammoths On Nocturnal Icy Coasts, or an easier one is Monkeys Never Eat Mayonnaise On Noodles In Canada.

Anyway, I knew I had to tighten the pipe so I said ‘Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty’. Unfortunately I was a little over enthusiastic and I tightened it too much causing the connection to come off in my hand, and I ended up looking like a drowned rat.

Talking of mnemonics, when I recently wrote about birds I was a little unsure about the difference between rooks and crows. I looked up the mnemonic and it goes ‘a crow in a crowd is a rook. A rook on its own, is a crow’. That led me to look up others.

If you can’t decide whether to use Affect or Effect just say RAVEN – Remember Affect Verb – Effect Noun!

And Fahrenheit temperatures to Centigrade ‘30 hot, 20 nice, 10 cold, 0 ice!’

How to spell Necessary – one collar, two socks!

I after E except after C - but not in Keith, weird!

Draw a circle in the air – Never Eat Slimy Worms, North East South West!

Here’s one I learned at First Aid classes so I’d remember what to do in an emergency – DRAB stands for Danger, Response, Airways, Breathing. I can’t quite recall how it’s supposed to help though.

The order of the planets - Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas!

To spell Rhythm – Rhythm Helps Your Two Hips Move

If you have any favourites I’d love to hear them!

By the way, the plumber who came to mend my washing machine pipe was a really nice guy and very understanding.
.
.

I'm going organic!

Very soon I will have my own allotment! I can’t wait, but unfortunately I’ll have to because until someone dies there are none available. I am told that an old fella by the name of Harry is pretty close to meeting his maker, and I have mixed emotions because although it will be very sad for his family when he pops his clogs, it will be a great day for me.

When I saw this week’s prompt on Sunday Scribblings it got me thinking. We have to write about organic things, and I thought - ‘I know, I’ll have an organic allotment’

The first thing I have researched is organic manures. I didn’t realise there were so many types. I can’t start making it just yet because it may stink a little, and setting up a ferty-factory on my appartments balcony could prove unpopular with my neighbours!


For organic compost I will need to keep all my waste things – leftover food, dead flowers and things. I’ll get an old bin and then I have to buy some worms! What a hoot! You need a special make called (wait for it) Red Wrigglers! True, I promise you.

I can get them by mail order. I wonder if they are cheaper on EBay. Anyway, I’ll bung them into my bin and see what happens.

Fertilizer is different from compost. Did you know that? I didn’t. It has to come from something which once lived. Dried blood, crushed bone, and old fish skins for example. I’m not sure I know how to crush bones. There's a guy who drinks at our pub they call Bonecrusher, perhaps that's what he does for a job. I'll ask him. I think I can buy it readymade too– Bones2Go!

Another good fertilizer is horse poo. We don’t get many horses trotting past my apartment, and even if we did I’m not so sure I’d want to follow them with a shovel and bucket. I do have a plan though. I know someone with stables, so I’m sure I can get some there.

Actually cow pancakes are probably good too. I’ll gather some of those from the farm near school. I could get the children to help me, and then I wouldn’t actually have to pick them up myself. It would be great fun day out for them too, I’ll mention to the Head.

I also read that something called Humanure is good. If it’s what I think it is, I’ll give it a miss. Can you imagine....no I’d rather not!

Then there is crop cover. That’s when you plant something alongside your plants which insects and bugs find tastier. My book tells me that this is used a lot in vineyards, but I won’t be making my own wine – it takes too long and gardening is thirsty work!

So soon I’ll have organic carrots and cabbages and lettuces and tomatoes. I also want to grow flowers. I’ve never heard of organic gladioli so I could be on to something new. One of my aims is to grow the world’s tallest sunflower. I may just have found the answer!

I let you know when I get my allotment; hopefully it will be before the spring. Perhaps I could take old Harry some poisonous grapes to speed things along.

Did I say that? That’s terrible, I should be ashamed. You know I didn’t mean it. Honestly Harry!
.

.

One plain one purl

.
I thought I’d give an update on my knitting. I am getting quite quick at it now. I found this wonderful wool shop inside an indoor market and I thought you might like to see a picture of it.
.

.
They also sell all sorts of other crafty things as you can see from this picture. Incase you are wondering, that’s not me standing at the counter. Well, it couldn’t have been, I was taking the picture!

.

.

Anyway, I made all my friends little cell phone socks for Christmas and I was chuffed to see everybody using theirs when we all met up the other day.

My latest project has been a pair of gloves. Very complicated. You have to make sure each glove has five fingers. Then I joined them together with a long piece of elastic which I feed through my sleeves so I won’t lose one.

Unfortunately when I tried them on for the first time I realised I’d made two left hand ones by mistake. So now I’ve got to make two right hand ones, and then I’ll have a spare pair.

Actually Keith always says he gets cold hands at work, so he might like them. I know they are pink, but I’m sure he won’t mind. I saw his laundry drying the other day, so I know they wont be the only pink things he wears.

That reminds me, I saw a man the other day who was wearing one brown shoe and one black shoe. I commented on them and he said that he had another pair the same at home. Actually that’s a fib. I didn’t really see him, it was a joke someone told me.

I’m looking for unusual things to knit and if you can give me any ideas I’d be well pleased. Things like place mats, lamp shades and even a cover for my computer.

I was thinking earlier that as my fruit bowl is always empty I could knit some bananas and apples. Grapes might be a bit difficult, but oranges very easy. Well, they make decorative artificial fruit from other materials so why not wool?

I do eat fruit, in fact I love fruit. It’s just that I keep it in the fridge ( I thought I’d write that in case Mummy reads this!)

I tried a pomegranate the other day. What hard work. All those pips and all that squirty juice! Never again.

What’s that fruit that stinks? I had it on holiday once. I remember – durian. Wow, what a pong. I am told however that they are an aphrodisiac. They wouldn’t be if they were in the same room that's for sure.

A few years ago I tried planting some apple seeds. They didn't grow.

I must get back to my knitting now.

.

.

For richer or poorer

.
I wrote this for Sunday Scribblings.

For richer or poorer
she married a snorer
he snored for the whole of the night
One night he stopped snoring
she thought he’d stopped breathing
It gave her a terrible fright.

In sickness and health
his fabulous wealth -
it constantly played on her mind
Now if he stopped snoring
because he stopped breathing......

no, how could she be so unkind?

For better or worse
she looked in her purse
and saw nothing but buttons and bills
She knew when he died
that he would provide
a fortune by way of his will.

Through joy and through sadness
she knew it was madness
to hammer a stake through his heart
(metaphorically speaking!)
For now she’d just wait
til that faraway date
when one day his death would them part.

This is not a true story! Please take it in the light hearted way it's intended!

.