Peace at last!

Hey guys, has he gone? By now my friend Keith should have flown away for one whole week, and for the next few days he won’t be watching over my shoulder and making those tutting noises. I reckon this a good opportunity to put the record straight on one or two things. Things you don’t know!

For instance I bet you didn’t know he types with one finger. It looks so funny. And you should see all the red underlining put there by the spell checker! Spelling is not his strong point.

He’s lazy too. Get this, he eats his food off paper plates and uses disposable cutlery to avoid washing up! I mean, come on. It’s not exactly the thing to do in these green awareness days.

Not only that, but he eats in front of his PC. You should see the state of his keyboard. There’s enough dropped food between the keys to feed one of the smaller starving nations for a week!

He also tells awful jokes. You’ve probably noticed that he accuses me of not understanding his witty quips. Well, the reason I don’t laugh is because they are not funny, and unlike his mates I’m not going to pretend they are.

I tell you what’s really annoying. He never swears. I’ve never heard an expletive leave his lips. It’s all an image thing I’m sure. I don’t mind admitting that the odd naughty word does on occasions leave my otherwise pure and clean mouth. What’s wrong with that? If I stub my toe I say... well, I’ll leave it to your imagination. And if I get overexcited when I’m telling a tale, my language can become somewhat colourful. What do I get?

‘Rosey my dear, you really shouldn’t use a swear words as a substitute for a carefully chosen one. Not only is it lazy but it may suggest to some that you have a very poor command of the English language which of course you have not’.

Obviously they are not his exact words; I’m trying to give you a flavour of what I have to put up with. Bloody cheek.

Anyway I may let you have a few more snippets later in the week. We’ll see!

ps. In case you read this while you are away Keith I'm sure you know this all meant in fun! It's all true of course.


gautami tripathy said...

Rosey, I kind of sympathise with you. It is no good having someone looking over our shoulder.....right or left, whatever.

PLease free to vent it all out. You know I will visit!


Shadow said...

while the cat's away...... have fun rosey, but remember, he'll be baaaaack, and you don't want to have too much explaining to do....

Whitesnake said...

YOU Swear????

Well some times telling someone ta go away just doesnt cut it aye?

Now at least paper plates break down in the earth unlike the pottery ones and about the only bit of truth is that he doesnt swear even I can attest to that although he has suggested that I swear enough forf everyone.

As for finger typing, nought wrong with that girl...although I have to admit I use 3....You figure that one out.

I'll be back ta see what other bits I have ta straighten ya out on!

Giggles said...

Sounds like you're telling a few tales out of school Rosey!! But that's okay we love hearing those juicy little details about our friend Keith!! Sometimes when we get older we tend to correct others, in a loving way of course. Only because we hope people can learn from our mistakes!!! Thanks for the inside scoop Rosey! It was very entertaining, as always!

Hugs Giggles

Lucy said...

rosey you little devil you!
Love hearing tales about keith.. even tho we adore him.. it's fun to get that inside scoop!
(and oooh thanks for the warning about the language! I better clean up my blog next time he visits!!)

keith is watching you said...

I don't believe it! The minute my back's turned you come up with this! Well little Miss Pinkbottom,the gloves are well and truly off now!You have been warned.