Oh golly gosh! Dosey Rosey is in deep shi....(err, woops!) trouble with my friend Keithy Weethy :(
Look, back me up here guys, please! You knew that my revelations about him were just written in fun, don't you? He even left a good humoured comment himself down there at the bottom, but then he went all hoity-toity in an unexpected phone call to me just now saying I'd gone too far.
Do you remember the days before I had my own blog? He took the pee out of me something rotten. Did I object? Did I complain? Well, actually I did, but it made no difference.
So there he is, streched out on a sun lounger thousands of miles way being waited on hand and foot by his long suffering daughter in law Alice and he has the gall to complain about little 'ole me having a bit of innocent fun 'at his expence' (quote)
Anyway, just to keep the peace I apol.....apol...... apol.....this is not easy dammit....apologise. There I've done it. I won't tell his adouring public ( disciples he calls you!! what do you think of that?) anything else about him. Done. Over. No more. End of story.Promise.
Actually I must tell you this - I bet you didn't know that he claims to have once seen a flying saucer! And I don't mean one his ex-wife threw at him! It was back in the 60's apparently. He really thought he saw it and he went to the police and reported it. Then the local press turned up at his house and wanted him to tell their readers all about it. He even drew a picture which they published! What makes it all the funnier is that he had been at a party at the time. Nineteen-sixties? Parties? Draw your own conclusions!
Oh listen to this! He goes on his own to The Five Ashes Inn on his day off each week. Because he's old he gets a free bus pass. That's funny in itself but there's more. Firstly he's so well known to the bus drivers that if he's not standing the bus stop to go home at 4.50pm on a Monday, they have been known to stop outside the pub and toot their hooter to get him out! And there's more. This happens regularly. He falls asleep on the bus and if it's a driver that doesn't know him he is left undisturbed until the end of the route in Hastings six miles past his house!
Now this is a hoot. Actually I'm not sure I should tell you, but I think I'm in so much doo-doo now that a bit more won't matter. Well, when he phoned me from Dubai just now to have a moan about my last post ( not the bugle sort - I don't play the bugle!) he told me that he'd had a panic sitution a few hours ago. It seems he woke up at four this morning suddenly convinced he'd lost his passport! All morning he's been going through his bags, looking under beds and searching all his clothes. He couldn't find it anywhere so he called the airport and contacted the British Embassy to report it missing. A couple of hours ago his patient d-i-l Alice told him on the phone from work that she had it! He'd forgotten that he'd handed it to her on Sunday ready for a security check when they drove into Oman for the day! Plonker or what?
Oh well, I'd better stop there although I'm itching to tell you about last month when......... perhaps I'll save it for the next time he goes away!