It's Sunday Scribblings time again. I know it's only Friday but I'm ready so here's my piece
Trust me to keep opening my mouth and putting my foot in it.
That’s a funny expression isn’t it? I mean I’ve never seen anyone actually putting their foot in their mouth mid-conversation.
Now I think about it, that’s not quite true because I do it myself sometimes. Not metaphorically either, but actually. It’s one of my party tricks. I’m fairly bendy so I can do it quite easily.
Hey, I can bend over backwards and pick up a glass of wine in my mouth, then straighten up and drink it without using my hands. Cool or what? To be honest I spill more than I drink, but it always gets a laugh!
As I was saying, last time I put my foot in my mouth was when I asked Keith to buy me some peanuts in the pub. Well, I didn’t have any money on me and he’s always loaded. He says he isn’t but I’ve seen in his wallet. Anyway I said I was starving and he said ‘tough’, or ‘hard luck’ or some other put down.
By the way, I wish he wouldn’t make those little comments to me. Mind you I do get my own back sometimes. Like the time at the karaoke night when I predicted I’d win a prize and he said ‘if you win a prize I’ll eat my hat’. And I did win a prize. Okay, it was the Wooden Spoon for coming last, but it was a prize.
So I grabbed the salt, pepper and tomato sauce from the food bar and sprinkled it on his cap. I told him it might make it more palatable! ‘Trust you to do something like that’ he grunted. It was so funny I nearly – well, you know!
Where was I? Oh yes. I was famished, he wouldn’t buy me some peanuts so I said ‘alright I’ll eat myself’ and that’s when I opened my mouth and put my foot in it!